7×22: Rose, Portrait Of A Woman

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The pictures are just an intimate way to let a fellow know he’s the one and only man in your life. I’ve done it 20, 30 times.”
-Blanche

Rose wraps Miles’ birthday present (a golf club), but Blanche has a more imaginative suggestion for her: a boudoir portrait.

Oh, Dorothy, how would you feel about a birthday present of a picture of me in sexy lingerie?”
“I’d rather have the cash.”
-Rose and Dorothy

Dorothy offers to go shopping with Rose for another gift for Miles after Dorothy gets done speaking at Career Day, which Miles will be doing, too. Dorothy doesn’t really want to do it; she’s been feeling disillusioned with her job lately.

If I’m lucky, I get to substitute an English class. But usually it’s… oh, I can’t even say it.”
“Driver’s Ed?”
“God, how I hate putting up those damn cones.”
-Dorothy and Blanche

Everyone goes to career day, where the students mostly make fun of Dorothy and Blanche tries to convince Rose that if she doesn’t make herself more interesting, she’ll lose Miles.

As Dorothy concludes her presentation, even Sophia is heckling her. A young man approaches who was a slacker student of hers for a semester; he’s now in the video game business, and he attributes his success to Dorothy forcing him to shape up. He offers her a job motivating his staff for a week.

Later, Dorothy gets ready for her first day on the job, and even gives Sophia a raise in her allowance.

Remember, Dorothy, when you go to work today, be proud. You’re a Petrillo, which in Italian means, ‘hey, I’m on a break here.’”
-Sophia

Rose gets ready to go to the photographer, and Blanche has to stop her from getting her picture taken in a flannel nightgown.

At Dorothy’s first seminar session, the staff are less than interested. They want to enjoy their free week in Miami. Just about everyone ends up ditching to play golf.

That night at home, Blanche is very happy with how the photos turned out, though Rose is nervous.

Do you really think that’s right for Miles? He’s never seen that side of me before.”
“You mean the wanton Rose? The harlot? The elemental woman who cries out for the fiery, passionate response of an elemental man? Is that the side you mean?”
“Actually, I meant my heinie.”
-Rose and Blanche

Dorothy comes home crushed about how the job went. Blanche encourages her to keep trying, but Dorothy doesn’t see the point. Sophia then comes in with a friend so she can show off Dorothy’s new job title.

At Miles’ house, Rose gets ready to give Miles her present, but as he’s about to unwrap it, some surprise guests arrive: his English department colleagues. She can’t stop him from unwrapping it in time, and everyone sees it, sending Rose out of the house.

On the last day of the seminar, Dorothy makes one last plea for the attendees to learn. They’re moved by her speech, but not quite enough to stay. When Dorothy’s former student shows up, he’s well aware of the fact that this isn’t a challenging job, and giving her this easy job is his way of thanking her. She explains that she needs to get back to school, where she can inspire more students to turn out like him.

Hey, listen, if there’s anything I can ever do for you, you let me know, huh?”
“Well, you know, actually, I… I do have an idea for a new video game.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. See, there’s this very old, white-haired mother who just keeps talking, and talking, and talking, and there’re all these different ways to kill her.”
“Sounds kind of weird.”
“No, I’ve thought it all out. And then when you arrive at level four, then you get to just… nuke her. I mean, just nuke the hell out of her.”
-Randy and Dorothy

Blanche is trying to console Rose back at home, but doesn’t do a great job. Miles shows up as soon as he’s gotten rid of the others, and assures her that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and her picture is beautiful.

Later, Sophia’s bought a gigantic TV thanks to her new allowance raise, but Dorothy tells her she’s going back to teaching. Sophia resists giving back the TV, which she’s named Tanya.

Would you want me to stay someplace I was unhappy just because it paid well?”
“Yes, and I would encourage you to moonlight.”
-Dorothy and Sophia

Still, Sophia wants to hold on to her new favorite thing.

I’m sorry, honey, but you’re gonna have to send back the TV.”
“Not if I could pay for it myself.”
“Oh? How do you propose to do that?”
“I have the negatives from Rose’s photo shoot. It doesn’t say much for this great land of ours, but there’s a market out there.”
-Dorothy and Sophia

High points: Dorothy doing a good job as a teacher, Sophia getting money, Blanche meddling.

Things that don’t age well: There’s an Asian student at the seminar who has already done all his homework ahead of time and it’s made very clear that it’s an Asian joke. Also, I don’t feel like Miles was being terribly respectful of Rose’s concerns.

MVP: Sophia and her big-screen TV.

The verdict: Another underrated episode that is actually a lot of fun. It does kind of feel like we’re winding down, though.

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