“Well, it’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing no underwear.”
Dorothy curls up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn to watch TV when Blanche comes in and demands she come with her to the Rusty Anchor instead of spending another night this way. Dorothy doesn’t really feel comfortable with the idea.
Rose and Sophia get back from what was apparently a very fun funeral. Blanche drags a reluctant Dorothy to the Rusty Anchor, where she knows just about everyone. She introduces Dorothy to a few friends and runs off, taking most of them with her. Dorothy’s alone until the piano player finally starts talking to her and convinces her to sing a little Irving Berlin. As a crowd gathers, her confidence grows… and Blanche gets nervous.
The next day, Blanche is evasive and condescending when Dorothy asks what she thought of the performance. Meanwhile, Rose and Sophia have an invitation.
“Dorothy, how would you like to go to a wake next Friday?”
“Ma, you know how I feel about those things. They’re so sad and depressing. Whose wake is it, anyway?”
-Sophia and Dorothy
Sophia plans to throw her own wake now, so she can hear people say wonderful things about her. Dorothy thinks it’s twisted, but Rose and Blanche offer to cover the costs, so the show will go on. Rose even offers to make the hors d’oeuvres.
“Some wake. Scandinavian crap on a cracker.”
Later at the Rusty Anchor, Blanche is entertaining everyone by tying cherry stems in her mouth, but when Dorothy comes in, everyone’s attention shifts to her. This time, she has a song prepared, much to Blanche’s annoyance.
At Sophia’s wake, no one seems to be having a good time. They soon realize why: everyone thinks Sophia is really dead.
“Rose, listen, I want you to think now, very carefully. When you sent out those invitations, you did remember to tell everyone Sophia’s really alive, didn’t you?”
“Blanche, I’m offended. How dumb do you think I am? I put it… I made the freakin’ hors d’oeuvres, leave me alone.”
-Blanche and Rose
When Sophia makes her entrance, everyone is horrified. No one ends up having much good to say about her, and they leave quickly.
“I still wish my wake hadn’t been such a disaster.”
“Well, look on the bright side. You’ll have another one.”
-Sophia and Rose
When Dorothy next goes to the Rusty Anchor, this time with all Girls in tow, her confidence is at an all-time high, and Blanche is a wreck.
“I just have to keep reminding myself: I am Blanche Devereaux, I am beautiful, men find me desirable… and my life is over.”
“Boy, when the mask falls off, it really makes a thud.”
-Blanche and Rose
Blanche isn’t going to give up her role at the bar so easily, though. She whips off her coat to reveal a heavily-spangled outfit, and begins to sing.
Dorothy follows Blanche into the restroom, where they finally talk. Blanche says that she’s jealous of Dorothy, against all odds, and that she never thought she’d be competing against Dorothy, who lights up the room when she sings.
“Blanche Devereaux, that is the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Most of the time when I compliment you, I’m not being sincere.”
-Dorothy and Blanche
Dorothy isn’t about to ruin their friendship over the Rusty Anchor, but she also doesn’t want to give up the Rusty Anchor. They agree to both keep coming, but on different nights.
“Blanche, why don’t we go out there and do a duet?”
“Do you know ‘Cry Me A River’?”
“Uh, no I don’t.”
“Good, we’ll do that one.”
-Dorothy and Blanche
High points: The performances, the wake, and something about Sophia enlisting Rose’s help in her schemes always tickles me.
Things that don’t age well: I do, however, take it very personally that Blanche wants to remove Dorothy from her life of watching TV and eating popcorn under a blanket. Don’t you judge me, Blanche Devereaux.
MVP: Dorothy, who finally gets to come out of her shell fully after almost 7 seasons.
The verdict: Friendship, sequins, and antics in full.